Saturday, November 8, 2008
here's to the thought that counts.
Its the little things in life... the little words, the text messages, the kisses on the cheek...
Thursday, September 18, 2008
"Every morning, when I open my eyes, I think the same four thoughts:
1) I am not a superhero.
2) I have to go to work.
3) If I didn’t have to work, I would be a superhero.
4) If I were a superhero, I wouldn’t have to work.
— Third Class Superhero by Charles Yu
1) I am not a superhero.
2) I have to go to work.
3) If I didn’t have to work, I would be a superhero.
4) If I were a superhero, I wouldn’t have to work.
— Third Class Superhero by Charles Yu
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Your words
are keeping me company today...
I am thankfull for this little/big world where we can connect on a computer screen, see through a window into each other, and then, just as quicly as we came, leave, with no reasons why, no feelings hurt, no love lost, onto the next page. Our one main point is to comunicate, unabashedly, fully with this outside world, and hope that someone will find it helpfull.
Jon William Johnson
I am thankfull for this little/big world where we can connect on a computer screen, see through a window into each other, and then, just as quicly as we came, leave, with no reasons why, no feelings hurt, no love lost, onto the next page. Our one main point is to comunicate, unabashedly, fully with this outside world, and hope that someone will find it helpfull.
Jon William Johnson
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
This is the start.
“ lets take the train to anywhere. i want to feel the wind in my hair with you. let’s tell them all, that soon they’ll know how very wrong they were to think we’d never go.— missy higgins (found the picture somewhere online, anyone have a link?)
“ I’ve been making a list of the things they don’t teach you at school. They don’t teach you how to love somebody. They don’t teach you how to be famous. They don’t teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don’t teach you how to walk away from someone you don’t love any longer. They don’t teach you how to know what’s going on in someone else’s mind. They don’t teach you what to say to someone who’s dying. They don’t teach you anything worth knowing.
— Neil Gaiman (via srsly: stare-at-walls: alphabetpony) (via into)
— Neil Gaiman (via srsly: stare-at-walls: alphabetpony) (via into)
Friday, September 12, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Show at the Q cafe
Rachel Wiegand opened the show...
WOW!!!
that's all I really have to say, somewhere between Ingrid Michelson and Mieko, she really knocked my socks off.
I was pleased with the turn out, quite a few familiar faces but better still many many new ones, I made a new friend Caleb Masse, he took that picture for me, real nice guy, GREAT drummer, I always say you can tell a lot about a drummer by the kinds of faces he makes when playing....
Caleb is a funny guy...
I played a couple new songs, and some old ones that I rearranged, they were all very well received... thanks to Melissa at the Q for putting together such a cool show.
Fight the current closed out the show, I felt like I was watching a re-run of the O.C. there music is perfect for one of those sound tracks, I wouldn't be surprised to see them on some of those "well acted" shows on MTV or the WB sometime soon ;)
Well, here's to another week, I am back at the Q next Friday with my dear dear friends Monarch and Brightwood, hope to see you all out.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Amazing...
“ Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round heads in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules and they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify them, or vilify them. But the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
— Jack Kerouac
— Jack Kerouac
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Carolina...
I have a harmonica
An acoustic guitar
A vintage typewriter and a handfull of ideas.
Sometimes I wish I was living on the road, traveling from place to place, my guitar, my polaroid camera, a sleeping bag.... the stars.... Never really coming home, but feeling at home where ever I am...
Route 66
I-90 to boston
Vegas
New York
The Adirondacks
old town nashville
Everyday a different city, a different group of people, a different life... Nomadic in nature, artistic at heart, seeing what everyone else is doing with my own two eyes.
instead... I write about my ideas on paper, with pen, I leave the office at 5 pm everyday...
and thats when my life begins.
Its a new world that I walk into everyday, full of ideas, bursting with music, to the brim with life.
I am writing more then I ever have, I am seeing more then I ever have too...
its starting.
An acoustic guitar
A vintage typewriter and a handfull of ideas.
Sometimes I wish I was living on the road, traveling from place to place, my guitar, my polaroid camera, a sleeping bag.... the stars.... Never really coming home, but feeling at home where ever I am...
Route 66
I-90 to boston
Vegas
New York
The Adirondacks
old town nashville
Everyday a different city, a different group of people, a different life... Nomadic in nature, artistic at heart, seeing what everyone else is doing with my own two eyes.
instead... I write about my ideas on paper, with pen, I leave the office at 5 pm everyday...
and thats when my life begins.
Its a new world that I walk into everyday, full of ideas, bursting with music, to the brim with life.
I am writing more then I ever have, I am seeing more then I ever have too...
its starting.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Powerless
It hurts so badly, it tears into my skin
makes my eyes red with tears
takes the breath right out of my lungs
I have no power, I have no choice
I bend, I have to bend
my life, my forever heart ache, my dear dear son...
my eyes well with tears, my wrists cry for something stronger.
Lord take this from me, I cannot manage.
makes my eyes red with tears
takes the breath right out of my lungs
I have no power, I have no choice
I bend, I have to bend
my life, my forever heart ache, my dear dear son...
my eyes well with tears, my wrists cry for something stronger.
Lord take this from me, I cannot manage.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
looming through the twilight
My office is vary dull
really nothing happens
Heads pop up from cubicles like Prairie Dogs in the mid west, a funny remark here, a random question there, my GM comes out of his office, walks around the space, walks back into his office
He approves
I have very few things on my desk
Two (2) Ping Pong Paddles
A bottle of hand lotion
A Ceramic Coffee cup from a cafe in California
A Polaroid camera from 1978
A copy of Aldous Huxley's "A brave new world"
A journal
and a few pictures of the most important people in the world to me
I have a laptop, a desktop (with dual 24 inch monitors) a desk phone, a cell phone and surround sound speakers.
I have a white board on the back wall of my cubicle, occasionally I will write a Quote on it, or a funny question a client asked me, but mostly it stays white... staring back at me...
I tend to relate with this white board, more then anything else on my desk, a blank page if you will, an infinite amount of restarts, if it is unpleasant, just wipe it away... but... if you look closely, you can still see a small amount of the previous work on the board, no matter how much you wipe it away, there is still a small memory of what once was.
Its called character
Or perhaps its the Polaroid... it takes such damn cool pictures.
really nothing happens
Heads pop up from cubicles like Prairie Dogs in the mid west, a funny remark here, a random question there, my GM comes out of his office, walks around the space, walks back into his office
He approves
I have very few things on my desk
Two (2) Ping Pong Paddles
A bottle of hand lotion
A Ceramic Coffee cup from a cafe in California
A Polaroid camera from 1978
A copy of Aldous Huxley's "A brave new world"
A journal
and a few pictures of the most important people in the world to me
I have a laptop, a desktop (with dual 24 inch monitors) a desk phone, a cell phone and surround sound speakers.
I have a white board on the back wall of my cubicle, occasionally I will write a Quote on it, or a funny question a client asked me, but mostly it stays white... staring back at me...
I tend to relate with this white board, more then anything else on my desk, a blank page if you will, an infinite amount of restarts, if it is unpleasant, just wipe it away... but... if you look closely, you can still see a small amount of the previous work on the board, no matter how much you wipe it away, there is still a small memory of what once was.
Its called character
Or perhaps its the Polaroid... it takes such damn cool pictures.
Friday, August 8, 2008
One friday morning
I woke up this morning in a stale room, recycled air, 74 degrees. Climbing out of bed I dressed myself in a T shirt, arm pits yellowed with time, and a baggy pair of sweat pants, they felt familiar, this all felt familiar. The clock glowed 6:13 am, dark green on a black back drop, I had three packages of individually wrapped saltines for breakfast, they had been sitting on my dresser for weeks, not really the healthiest, but they will have to do. I pulled open the small window above my small bed, the fresh air snapped me back to my senses, I turned of my alarm clock radio which had been buzzing Vivaldi for the last ten minuets, my roommates usually poke there head in my room and turn it off for me, before I have a chance to get at it myself.
I grab my towel off of the door where i hung it yesterday morning, walk to the bathroom, the floor is cold, its a universal truth, the linoleum in the bathroom will be cold, no matter what, I find comfort in that. The shower head sputters as I turn it on, the room fills with steam, I climb into the shower and face my back to the shower head, rubbing my neck under the warm water, I grab the dry, cracked bar of soap from the ledge of the shower, lather it up and coat my body in a comfortable white film, a shell, a new layer of skin, one that I get used to, but just as easily I can shed. With a stern hand, I wash the new skin off of me, afraid to look at it any longer, afraid to compare it to what was underneath, what really is. I lather my hair, rinse, repeat, as i run my hands over my freshly clean skin, hair, I study the imperfections, a long scar on my knee, jutting coller bone, scars on my wrist, as the water falls over my face, I turn the heat up, slowly, until I cant hold my face under the water anymore, I turn the water off and step out into the world. My reflection in the mirrors have been replaced with a fog, a mist a different view of myself, I towel off and toddle down the hall way back to my room.
The window has been open the whole time, exactly 19 minuets, cold and crisp as the outside morning air, I find a pair of clean underwear, socks, I put on my new Khakis, I purchased them from J Crew a month ago, the tag is still on the waste band, I tell myself it is so I can bring them back whenever I want, but really its about control. I have a new flannel that I have been falling in love with, I gingerly place it over the same white T shirt with the yellowing arm pits that I threw on before I took a shower, Slip on some sneakers, pocket my wallet, keys, phone, cash, its 6:43 and I don't need to be at work till Eight.
As I step out the front door, on my way to my little red car, I have a desire to see something, something other then what I see every morning, I am up unusually early for no real reason, so, Instead of heading right for my car, I walk around the neighborhood for a while, 48 minuets to be exact, I see men jogging before work, mothers dropping kids off at near by day cares, teenagers and business men walking the there respectable bus stops, all of this life happening around me, all of these people, looking out from there own eyes, seeing things in a way that I will never understand, I smile at a young woman that I pass on the sidewalk, she is in a business suit, cant be more the 24 years old, her eyes are friendly, her head is cocked slightly to the side, she has a briefcase in one had and a Star wars lunch pale in the other... curious, I think, but quickly I forget her, as I come back to my culde sac I walk to my car door, unlock it open the door... but before i get in, I look around, one last time, at the people, the birds, the sky the bus, this is the last time I will be in this moment, my car shutters as it starts, and I am off, its Friday, and I am in love.
I grab my towel off of the door where i hung it yesterday morning, walk to the bathroom, the floor is cold, its a universal truth, the linoleum in the bathroom will be cold, no matter what, I find comfort in that. The shower head sputters as I turn it on, the room fills with steam, I climb into the shower and face my back to the shower head, rubbing my neck under the warm water, I grab the dry, cracked bar of soap from the ledge of the shower, lather it up and coat my body in a comfortable white film, a shell, a new layer of skin, one that I get used to, but just as easily I can shed. With a stern hand, I wash the new skin off of me, afraid to look at it any longer, afraid to compare it to what was underneath, what really is. I lather my hair, rinse, repeat, as i run my hands over my freshly clean skin, hair, I study the imperfections, a long scar on my knee, jutting coller bone, scars on my wrist, as the water falls over my face, I turn the heat up, slowly, until I cant hold my face under the water anymore, I turn the water off and step out into the world. My reflection in the mirrors have been replaced with a fog, a mist a different view of myself, I towel off and toddle down the hall way back to my room.
The window has been open the whole time, exactly 19 minuets, cold and crisp as the outside morning air, I find a pair of clean underwear, socks, I put on my new Khakis, I purchased them from J Crew a month ago, the tag is still on the waste band, I tell myself it is so I can bring them back whenever I want, but really its about control. I have a new flannel that I have been falling in love with, I gingerly place it over the same white T shirt with the yellowing arm pits that I threw on before I took a shower, Slip on some sneakers, pocket my wallet, keys, phone, cash, its 6:43 and I don't need to be at work till Eight.
As I step out the front door, on my way to my little red car, I have a desire to see something, something other then what I see every morning, I am up unusually early for no real reason, so, Instead of heading right for my car, I walk around the neighborhood for a while, 48 minuets to be exact, I see men jogging before work, mothers dropping kids off at near by day cares, teenagers and business men walking the there respectable bus stops, all of this life happening around me, all of these people, looking out from there own eyes, seeing things in a way that I will never understand, I smile at a young woman that I pass on the sidewalk, she is in a business suit, cant be more the 24 years old, her eyes are friendly, her head is cocked slightly to the side, she has a briefcase in one had and a Star wars lunch pale in the other... curious, I think, but quickly I forget her, as I come back to my culde sac I walk to my car door, unlock it open the door... but before i get in, I look around, one last time, at the people, the birds, the sky the bus, this is the last time I will be in this moment, my car shutters as it starts, and I am off, its Friday, and I am in love.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Her heart was hard... in produce section of QFC
We see life in between the fault lines
her husband left her, a year ago, there three children all live abroad
Missionary in Uganda
Peace core
Teaching English in China
I cant tell you the way her heart swelled as she relayed the stories of her newly wed son, still a child, married in traditional ugandan fashion, in the desert, with his new wifes family, none of them spoke english... she was able to see her son web, and meet her new family. A world away, while his mothers life was falling apart, his life was coming together, like she could never have experienced, this is a new world.
Her daughter left Scott, he was no good for her anyways, her students were to important and Scott wanted to get married, her daughter was to young, she was coming home for a month to help her mom move into a smaller apartment, since the divorce, money had been tight, and she couldnt make the house payments.
The peace core took her eldest to Azerbijan, on the iranian border, no peace, no hope, just lives torn apart, hearts looking for a home. Her son was bringing that home to them, that hope was in his eyes, in his hug, the children loved him most...
There mother told story after story of her lovely children making something great of there lives, all the while she hid the pain and harsh reality that hers had fallin apart, she was ashamed everytime she spoke of there father, maybe he ran out on her, maybe he had another lover, I never found out, but thats okay...
I wanted to tell her... I wanted to hug her, and tell her, that her life is not falling apart, her life is not in shambles, I wanted to hold her hand and walk with her as she picked out her tomatoes and her lettuce and reassure her that her children are pushing on a legacy so much greater then that of a perfect marriage, of perfect parents...
I walked away from that QFC with some hope... that life will go on, when life falls apart... life will go on...
thank you for that, Mother in QFC, thank you.
her husband left her, a year ago, there three children all live abroad
Missionary in Uganda
Peace core
Teaching English in China
I cant tell you the way her heart swelled as she relayed the stories of her newly wed son, still a child, married in traditional ugandan fashion, in the desert, with his new wifes family, none of them spoke english... she was able to see her son web, and meet her new family. A world away, while his mothers life was falling apart, his life was coming together, like she could never have experienced, this is a new world.
Her daughter left Scott, he was no good for her anyways, her students were to important and Scott wanted to get married, her daughter was to young, she was coming home for a month to help her mom move into a smaller apartment, since the divorce, money had been tight, and she couldnt make the house payments.
The peace core took her eldest to Azerbijan, on the iranian border, no peace, no hope, just lives torn apart, hearts looking for a home. Her son was bringing that home to them, that hope was in his eyes, in his hug, the children loved him most...
There mother told story after story of her lovely children making something great of there lives, all the while she hid the pain and harsh reality that hers had fallin apart, she was ashamed everytime she spoke of there father, maybe he ran out on her, maybe he had another lover, I never found out, but thats okay...
I wanted to tell her... I wanted to hug her, and tell her, that her life is not falling apart, her life is not in shambles, I wanted to hold her hand and walk with her as she picked out her tomatoes and her lettuce and reassure her that her children are pushing on a legacy so much greater then that of a perfect marriage, of perfect parents...
I walked away from that QFC with some hope... that life will go on, when life falls apart... life will go on...
thank you for that, Mother in QFC, thank you.
Monday, June 30, 2008
I know
the sun also rises,and there is still 40 miles to go
I can tread this water with out you
but i dont want to
Rain come slowly
nights in the grass dont have to end
you have stirred something in me that deserves you
It has called to you and you have answered
thank you for that answer
even if its not the whole question
like
where will you be?
when will you go?
A home is no more just four walls and a roof
a home is where I find rest, where i find comfort
where i find myself
my home wont be in the mountins, it wont be in the city
It will not be a house, on the lower east side
Or a boat, when the tide is right
no, my home is in your eyes, sitting on this blanket,
as the sun shines above us
these words drip from my lips like sweetened honey
"I love you, I love you"
and I love how your face still lights up when it rest on my shoulder
and how you waited for me to pray
I saw those tears fall down your face
the only thing I wanted to do, was crawl into you heart
and push all the fears aside, so when you look in my eyes
you feel alive
I can tread this water with out you
but i dont want to
Rain come slowly
nights in the grass dont have to end
you have stirred something in me that deserves you
It has called to you and you have answered
thank you for that answer
even if its not the whole question
like
where will you be?
when will you go?
A home is no more just four walls and a roof
a home is where I find rest, where i find comfort
where i find myself
my home wont be in the mountins, it wont be in the city
It will not be a house, on the lower east side
Or a boat, when the tide is right
no, my home is in your eyes, sitting on this blanket,
as the sun shines above us
these words drip from my lips like sweetened honey
"I love you, I love you"
and I love how your face still lights up when it rest on my shoulder
and how you waited for me to pray
I saw those tears fall down your face
the only thing I wanted to do, was crawl into you heart
and push all the fears aside, so when you look in my eyes
you feel alive
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
I wont come home till after, ive shaken hands with native lands
I leave for LA in less then two weeks, I honestly cant wait to sit in a van for 22 hours... then play music... then eat, sleep, repeat... this needs to be my life
Thank God for the people in my life right now, i hope none of them dissapear
this is going to be a good summer
Thank God for the people in my life right now, i hope none of them dissapear
this is going to be a good summer
Thursday, June 19, 2008
You know where ill be
I have let you in where nothings ever been
I can live again a better life
I have let you in where nothings ever been...
This life is filled with walking in the shadows, talking to strangers, showing the pieces of your self that not many people really see... we make our choices, and we make them with our whole heart, I didn't think anyone understood what it was like to fully love someone.. then to see your life... to feel that kiss on your neck... and have that fear.. that utter terror, that something was not right... but at the same time... something was completely right... this life is short, this heart if frail, do I throw it against the wall, and draw a picture of my love with the mess that I made?
or do i choose not to care... all that's left from this tragedy is a hand full of memories and i hope that one day we will clean up the mess that we made, I think the reason I am moving on... is because I found something better... I found someone better suited... for this crazy mixed up world... to spend my time with... to share my heart with
we will see, I hope I don't screw this one up, I can fall pretty hard.
I can live again a better life
I have let you in where nothings ever been...
This life is filled with walking in the shadows, talking to strangers, showing the pieces of your self that not many people really see... we make our choices, and we make them with our whole heart, I didn't think anyone understood what it was like to fully love someone.. then to see your life... to feel that kiss on your neck... and have that fear.. that utter terror, that something was not right... but at the same time... something was completely right... this life is short, this heart if frail, do I throw it against the wall, and draw a picture of my love with the mess that I made?
or do i choose not to care... all that's left from this tragedy is a hand full of memories and i hope that one day we will clean up the mess that we made, I think the reason I am moving on... is because I found something better... I found someone better suited... for this crazy mixed up world... to spend my time with... to share my heart with
we will see, I hope I don't screw this one up, I can fall pretty hard.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
the Nectar and what is means to you
Anathollo last night at the Nectar was so amazing, I stood next to my best friend laila and saw the excitement in her eyes as well...
They took the stage (all 7 of em) all of them with a different dance, a different feel, they felt alive, there was an electricity on stage... bells, horns, drums, keyboards and guitars... they moved between them all so seamlessly it was there form of communication, and they spoke it so eloquently...
this was my third time seeing them live, and they only have gotten better, closer... the new songs were wonderful, I cant wait till there next LP if Floating world was any indication of what the band can do in a studio I promise you the next one will be just as ground breaking, you don't here "movements" in pop music any more, but listen to this band, you will hear a song that is alive, growing, stretching its legs, learning to walk, and finally turning into something completely exciting, thank you Matt and Co. you are making music to awaken the soul, to stir a group of people so used to pseudo mediocrity when it comes to music, this is what we all need
U'ste shon shon
They took the stage (all 7 of em) all of them with a different dance, a different feel, they felt alive, there was an electricity on stage... bells, horns, drums, keyboards and guitars... they moved between them all so seamlessly it was there form of communication, and they spoke it so eloquently...
this was my third time seeing them live, and they only have gotten better, closer... the new songs were wonderful, I cant wait till there next LP if Floating world was any indication of what the band can do in a studio I promise you the next one will be just as ground breaking, you don't here "movements" in pop music any more, but listen to this band, you will hear a song that is alive, growing, stretching its legs, learning to walk, and finally turning into something completely exciting, thank you Matt and Co. you are making music to awaken the soul, to stir a group of people so used to pseudo mediocrity when it comes to music, this is what we all need
U'ste shon shon
Friday, June 6, 2008
shouldnt of had that drink
its 2 am the streets are empty
except for the flashing blue and white
the doors ajar, your seat is empty
they are giving you a free ride
shouldnt of had that drink
shouldnt of had that dance
shouldnt of shared that moment with that stranger on the street
shouldnt of had that drink
shouldnt of made those eyes
shouldnt of kissed him squarely on the mouth thats full of lies
shouldnt of had that drink
its 3 am and they let you go home
your frineds are waiting outside for you
your welling eyes are selling lies
that im not buying anymore
shouldnt of had that drink
shouldnt of had that dance
shouldnt of shared that moment with that stranger on the street
shouldnt of had that drink
shouldnt of made those eyes
shouldnt of kissed him squarely on the mouth thats full of lies
shouldnt of had that drink
(its just A pop song)
except for the flashing blue and white
the doors ajar, your seat is empty
they are giving you a free ride
shouldnt of had that drink
shouldnt of had that dance
shouldnt of shared that moment with that stranger on the street
shouldnt of had that drink
shouldnt of made those eyes
shouldnt of kissed him squarely on the mouth thats full of lies
shouldnt of had that drink
its 3 am and they let you go home
your frineds are waiting outside for you
your welling eyes are selling lies
that im not buying anymore
shouldnt of had that drink
shouldnt of had that dance
shouldnt of shared that moment with that stranger on the street
shouldnt of had that drink
shouldnt of made those eyes
shouldnt of kissed him squarely on the mouth thats full of lies
shouldnt of had that drink
(its just A pop song)
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Angels in the airwaves (tour blog v3.0)
I woke up on Saturday, thank God, I actually woke up on Saturday, after 4 Advil and a greasy lunch at a Diner/Train Caboose, I finally woke up. what a night... and... what a day to be had....
I walked down the street to River Front park with my guitar in hand, I wanted to sit on the street corner and make some much needed gas money, I set up shop, played for about an hour, then got "escorted" off the property by four security guards... nice...
BUT i made 38 bucks... not a bad haul...
with some good advice from a fellow artist that there was an Arts festival "down the street" the way he explained it, it was close... not so much...
21 blocks later, I made it, I set up on a little grassy knoll and played my tunes, danced my dance... did my thing... until I was "escorted" off the property by guards security guards... but i made another 23 bucks... total haul $61 dollars and 21 blocks of progress.
That evening I was scheduled to play on the air on 103.9 KCDA for about two hours, then I had to hustle over to Cour D'elain for a house party/show... so i found the station and set up in the studio, I met Matt the DJ and he sure was a swell guy, I really enjoyed the whole experience, I cant wait to post the Pod cast of the show... i should have it soon.
I hustled my way across state lines and made it to Kelins house in Idaho, what a nice town, i really liked it there, the party was awesome, the food was to die for and the people where even better, I got to sit on a swing in the back yard and play my songs for about 20 people, telling stories, listening to stories, hearing about love and loss, and pain and progress, it was such a magical night. We ended the night at a Bar called the "shore" which was pretty dang swanky, good music, great drinks, great dance floor... and a girl named Autumn who wouldn't keep her hands off of me... ha... I hit the dance floor for about two hours, I have not boogied like that in ages, young Autumn had too much to drink and was getting "low, low, low" all up in my business. Luckily my friend Nicole saved me from her evil clutches (thanks Nicole) that walk home was awesome, we found a fountain (I believe i can flyyyyy....) and it started to rain... which was the perfect end to a perfect week, I fell in love with Kelin, Renee, Nicole, Chris, Mike, Jamie, Leon, brooks and everyone else I met at that house, I cant wait to go back... I really cant wait to go back.
The next morning I woke up and Kelin, Chris and Allyah went to Java on Sherman and had a great morning cup of coffee, great conversation and just a good all around time, those three kids make me smile, so much love for such a young family.. gives me hope is what it does!
when I pulled out of the house, on my way home, I smiled, I knew that I had done something great, it was a wonderful drive home, quiet, serene, but full of energy...
I fell in love with the road, I will see you again soon.
I walked down the street to River Front park with my guitar in hand, I wanted to sit on the street corner and make some much needed gas money, I set up shop, played for about an hour, then got "escorted" off the property by four security guards... nice...
BUT i made 38 bucks... not a bad haul...
with some good advice from a fellow artist that there was an Arts festival "down the street" the way he explained it, it was close... not so much...
21 blocks later, I made it, I set up on a little grassy knoll and played my tunes, danced my dance... did my thing... until I was "escorted" off the property by guards security guards... but i made another 23 bucks... total haul $61 dollars and 21 blocks of progress.
That evening I was scheduled to play on the air on 103.9 KCDA for about two hours, then I had to hustle over to Cour D'elain for a house party/show... so i found the station and set up in the studio, I met Matt the DJ and he sure was a swell guy, I really enjoyed the whole experience, I cant wait to post the Pod cast of the show... i should have it soon.
I hustled my way across state lines and made it to Kelins house in Idaho, what a nice town, i really liked it there, the party was awesome, the food was to die for and the people where even better, I got to sit on a swing in the back yard and play my songs for about 20 people, telling stories, listening to stories, hearing about love and loss, and pain and progress, it was such a magical night. We ended the night at a Bar called the "shore" which was pretty dang swanky, good music, great drinks, great dance floor... and a girl named Autumn who wouldn't keep her hands off of me... ha... I hit the dance floor for about two hours, I have not boogied like that in ages, young Autumn had too much to drink and was getting "low, low, low" all up in my business. Luckily my friend Nicole saved me from her evil clutches (thanks Nicole) that walk home was awesome, we found a fountain (I believe i can flyyyyy....) and it started to rain... which was the perfect end to a perfect week, I fell in love with Kelin, Renee, Nicole, Chris, Mike, Jamie, Leon, brooks and everyone else I met at that house, I cant wait to go back... I really cant wait to go back.
The next morning I woke up and Kelin, Chris and Allyah went to Java on Sherman and had a great morning cup of coffee, great conversation and just a good all around time, those three kids make me smile, so much love for such a young family.. gives me hope is what it does!
when I pulled out of the house, on my way home, I smiled, I knew that I had done something great, it was a wonderful drive home, quiet, serene, but full of energy...
I fell in love with the road, I will see you again soon.
Inhale, for luck (tour blog 2.0)
I woke up with a slight crick in my neck, Cass had just gotten out of the shower "good morning J.J." she chirped "how did you sleep?" but she had walked into her room before I could answer, she had to get to a class that Morning, she ran out the door with a promise of lunch when she was done for the day.
I got up and took a much needed shower, washed the booze off me from the night before, the sleep from my eyes, the smell of cigarettes, but you couldn't wash the smile from my face, I got dressed and went down to the little coffee shop down the street and ordered a latte and a pastry, I brought it back to Cassie's house and planted myself firmly on her porch.
Its interesting to me when inspiration comes, A red cobble stone road the leads past the house that I had never been to before, blue Sky's, the neighbor lady standing on the corner listening to me sing with a winsome smile on her face, she bowed her head as if to pray, then shook it off just as quickly, walked intently to her car, opened the door and looked at me right in the eye, she smiled...
BAM
"The bars are always empty, when the side walks are full
and holding hads is never quite enough
making love was easier, before I met you
now I'm to scared to touch
now I'm to scared to touch"
I have been in love before, everyone has, i fall in love at the drop of a hat, you flash me a smile and I am already planning our grandchildrens wedding... we went to a sweet little sushi place called "Raw" I had awesome Spicy tuna rolls and California rolls, Cass had the Vegan rolls which were so good...
That night I was at the Caterina Winery with T.J. Sherril, I love that guy, I love that I walk into the room across the state and sit in the front row, and he just laughs, like it totally makes sense that I am there... I saw Karlie Fairbanks live for the first time... she moved me... again... I was planning out grandchildrens wedding.
The nice promoter/bar tender of the show Patrick was very helpful with getting me beyond the comforts of sobriety, Cass wanted me to meet her back at the pool hall after the show, so I "stumbled" across the city... rather lost... I stopped in the park.. near the Spokane falls... I really wanted to go for a swim...
I met Cass and a couple of her Friends at Far West and they immediately handed me a small glass of clear liquid, followed by a lime... you can only imagine
we got home at around 2 am, I watched "Into the Wild" and nearly cried my self to sleep... I love that movie...
I slept well that night.
I got up and took a much needed shower, washed the booze off me from the night before, the sleep from my eyes, the smell of cigarettes, but you couldn't wash the smile from my face, I got dressed and went down to the little coffee shop down the street and ordered a latte and a pastry, I brought it back to Cassie's house and planted myself firmly on her porch.
Its interesting to me when inspiration comes, A red cobble stone road the leads past the house that I had never been to before, blue Sky's, the neighbor lady standing on the corner listening to me sing with a winsome smile on her face, she bowed her head as if to pray, then shook it off just as quickly, walked intently to her car, opened the door and looked at me right in the eye, she smiled...
BAM
"The bars are always empty, when the side walks are full
and holding hads is never quite enough
making love was easier, before I met you
now I'm to scared to touch
now I'm to scared to touch"
I have been in love before, everyone has, i fall in love at the drop of a hat, you flash me a smile and I am already planning our grandchildrens wedding... we went to a sweet little sushi place called "Raw" I had awesome Spicy tuna rolls and California rolls, Cass had the Vegan rolls which were so good...
That night I was at the Caterina Winery with T.J. Sherril, I love that guy, I love that I walk into the room across the state and sit in the front row, and he just laughs, like it totally makes sense that I am there... I saw Karlie Fairbanks live for the first time... she moved me... again... I was planning out grandchildrens wedding.
The nice promoter/bar tender of the show Patrick was very helpful with getting me beyond the comforts of sobriety, Cass wanted me to meet her back at the pool hall after the show, so I "stumbled" across the city... rather lost... I stopped in the park.. near the Spokane falls... I really wanted to go for a swim...
I met Cass and a couple of her Friends at Far West and they immediately handed me a small glass of clear liquid, followed by a lime... you can only imagine
we got home at around 2 am, I watched "Into the Wild" and nearly cried my self to sleep... I love that movie...
I slept well that night.
Sigur Ros and the long drive home (tour blog 1.0)
I found the cheapest Gas in Cour D'elain Idaho, $3.46 at the Zipp market, I also enjoyed a small but tasty Bacon Cheese burger, I cant tell you the sense of accomplishment that I felt when I left that last town, on that last day... I had finally done it, left my home, walked into the unknown, and while it was only for a little less then a week, it meant the world to me.
I started in Seattle, 1987 Mazda GLC, Red, No radio, No air conditioning, just four windows rolled down and an iPod that didn't work any more, almost 4 hours of straight driving before I stopped for gas, 100 miles out side of Spokane, Barbara Anne's, it was a nice little cafe on the side of the road, I bought 2 corn dogs, a Dr. Pepper and a tank of gas... perfect.
I pulled into Spokane at about 6 that evening, the show was at 8, I had an hour to kill, I found the Brooklyn Deli, recently voted the best Deli in Spokane, and for good reason I have a great Pastrami on Rye sandwich, which Brandon (the owner) toasted for me. I wondered the streets of Spokane handing out flyer's for the show that night, I didn't really run into many people that were interested in what i was doing.
David Hannon showed up a little early and it was nice to finally meet the guy, there were a couple girls hanging out in the coffee shop early that i chatted with, one of them was Brittany, it turns out that we have been friends for a while now... via myspace of course...
The surprise of the night was Marshal Mclean, the boy can write a song, in tow was his lovely wife and ten month old son, Charlie, they were the perfect little musician family, charlie was talking all night, except when his father played, almost like he was waiting to hear his dad, hear those songs that I am sure he has sung to him while he sleeps... reminds me of another little sleeping guy...
I ran into a friend from High School Cassie that night, turns out she is going to grad school in the town that I played in, we were friends back then, its been 10 years, you couldn't tell by looking at us though. Cass took me to a billiards hall called Far West in the heart of Spokane, there she proceeded to beat me three times in cut throat with her house mate Sarah, David Hannon just happened to be at the pool hall as well so it was good to connect with him for a little bit.
I fell asleep on Cassie's couch that night after a long long talk about life, and where we were in our own lives, and how things have changed in the ten years since we saw each other last, Cassie patted my head and said "I love you J.J." it was nice to hear someone say that... and know that they mean it...
I started in Seattle, 1987 Mazda GLC, Red, No radio, No air conditioning, just four windows rolled down and an iPod that didn't work any more, almost 4 hours of straight driving before I stopped for gas, 100 miles out side of Spokane, Barbara Anne's, it was a nice little cafe on the side of the road, I bought 2 corn dogs, a Dr. Pepper and a tank of gas... perfect.
I pulled into Spokane at about 6 that evening, the show was at 8, I had an hour to kill, I found the Brooklyn Deli, recently voted the best Deli in Spokane, and for good reason I have a great Pastrami on Rye sandwich, which Brandon (the owner) toasted for me. I wondered the streets of Spokane handing out flyer's for the show that night, I didn't really run into many people that were interested in what i was doing.
David Hannon showed up a little early and it was nice to finally meet the guy, there were a couple girls hanging out in the coffee shop early that i chatted with, one of them was Brittany, it turns out that we have been friends for a while now... via myspace of course...
The surprise of the night was Marshal Mclean, the boy can write a song, in tow was his lovely wife and ten month old son, Charlie, they were the perfect little musician family, charlie was talking all night, except when his father played, almost like he was waiting to hear his dad, hear those songs that I am sure he has sung to him while he sleeps... reminds me of another little sleeping guy...
I ran into a friend from High School Cassie that night, turns out she is going to grad school in the town that I played in, we were friends back then, its been 10 years, you couldn't tell by looking at us though. Cass took me to a billiards hall called Far West in the heart of Spokane, there she proceeded to beat me three times in cut throat with her house mate Sarah, David Hannon just happened to be at the pool hall as well so it was good to connect with him for a little bit.
I fell asleep on Cassie's couch that night after a long long talk about life, and where we were in our own lives, and how things have changed in the ten years since we saw each other last, Cassie patted my head and said "I love you J.J." it was nice to hear someone say that... and know that they mean it...
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
A God of Creativity?
When there are tasks to be done and problems to be solved, Creators; like writers, designers, musicians, and artists are dreamers and visionaries conceptualize unseen solutions to problems. They see things before they exist. They begin with a purpose, and then approach everything single-mindedly. Whatever they do should relate to that purpose.
They work instinctively, don't particularly like structure, and are often frustrated by directions.
Creators are “pregnant” with an idea until their concept becomes a reality. During this process, they impart a bit of themselves in the product. Our mighty God is The Creator; and he answers prayer creatively.
For example, we hired a company to extend the patio on our home. It was little more than a small slab of concrete at the time. When the designer came in he sat down at our dining table and pulled out his portfolio (collection of past projects he’d designed) and his pen and paper. After opening pleasantries I said, “Let me explain what we’d like to do with our patio.”
He grabbed his pen and paper and said, “I think I know what you want. You’d like to extend it in this direction and shape.”
We said, “Yes, that’s a good idea, and…”
He interrupted, “Then you want to…”
In five minutes he had designed the complete project—without our help, I might add. He didn’t need our instructions or ideas. He’s paid to create.
When we pray, as many do, with "problem-solving" in mind, we most often overlook God's plan. Rather than make our plea and submit to Creator God and his plans for the solution, we want to instruct him in our praying. Such requests frustrate a creator!
Job tried instructing God. And in Job 38, God said, "Job, why are you instructing me? Where were you when I created the world? I didn't need your help then. And I don't need your instructions now."
Think about this. When you pray, “God, please let me get that job,” you are praying, “God, please do for me the thing I have already decided is best for me. I’ve done all the thinking, all you have to do, God, is copy me, I have it lined out: give me the job.” In so doing, you are appealing to God's productive side, rather than his creative side. You’re elevating “problem solving” above God’s higher purposes. You’re instructing him as to what you want and how you want it, rather than trusting the Creator to demonstrate his power by accomplishing his purpose in your matter.
Can you see how this prayer in itself transgresses the creative nature of God? You aren’t asking him to activate his unique plan for you. You are asking him to produce for you what you have already decided is best. So you are not praying to God as Creator. You are overlooking the fact that he wants to do things in you and for you that are “…exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think…” (Eph. 3:20, KJV), or as Jeremiah wrote, “… marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own” (Jer. 33:3b, MSG ).
Now think about this: why are you giving God instructions? Why are you trying to engage God in your plans and purposes, instead of recognizing that he has plans and purposes and a will for you—plans that are far bigger than you realize!
Since God’s response will be above what you can ask or think, something that you could never figure out on your own, then what good are your instructions? Resist the urge to explain things to your omniscient God when you pray. Fight the urge to give him directions as to how you want Him to solve your problems. Ask Him to show you the big picture! Learn what God does, and why and how he does it. Most of His intervention in history has been as a creator.
They work instinctively, don't particularly like structure, and are often frustrated by directions.
Creators are “pregnant” with an idea until their concept becomes a reality. During this process, they impart a bit of themselves in the product. Our mighty God is The Creator; and he answers prayer creatively.
For example, we hired a company to extend the patio on our home. It was little more than a small slab of concrete at the time. When the designer came in he sat down at our dining table and pulled out his portfolio (collection of past projects he’d designed) and his pen and paper. After opening pleasantries I said, “Let me explain what we’d like to do with our patio.”
He grabbed his pen and paper and said, “I think I know what you want. You’d like to extend it in this direction and shape.”
We said, “Yes, that’s a good idea, and…”
He interrupted, “Then you want to…”
In five minutes he had designed the complete project—without our help, I might add. He didn’t need our instructions or ideas. He’s paid to create.
When we pray, as many do, with "problem-solving" in mind, we most often overlook God's plan. Rather than make our plea and submit to Creator God and his plans for the solution, we want to instruct him in our praying. Such requests frustrate a creator!
Job tried instructing God. And in Job 38, God said, "Job, why are you instructing me? Where were you when I created the world? I didn't need your help then. And I don't need your instructions now."
Think about this. When you pray, “God, please let me get that job,” you are praying, “God, please do for me the thing I have already decided is best for me. I’ve done all the thinking, all you have to do, God, is copy me, I have it lined out: give me the job.” In so doing, you are appealing to God's productive side, rather than his creative side. You’re elevating “problem solving” above God’s higher purposes. You’re instructing him as to what you want and how you want it, rather than trusting the Creator to demonstrate his power by accomplishing his purpose in your matter.
Can you see how this prayer in itself transgresses the creative nature of God? You aren’t asking him to activate his unique plan for you. You are asking him to produce for you what you have already decided is best. So you are not praying to God as Creator. You are overlooking the fact that he wants to do things in you and for you that are “…exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think…” (Eph. 3:20, KJV), or as Jeremiah wrote, “… marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own” (Jer. 33:3b, MSG ).
Now think about this: why are you giving God instructions? Why are you trying to engage God in your plans and purposes, instead of recognizing that he has plans and purposes and a will for you—plans that are far bigger than you realize!
Since God’s response will be above what you can ask or think, something that you could never figure out on your own, then what good are your instructions? Resist the urge to explain things to your omniscient God when you pray. Fight the urge to give him directions as to how you want Him to solve your problems. Ask Him to show you the big picture! Learn what God does, and why and how he does it. Most of His intervention in history has been as a creator.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Monarch
Save your time for someone else
I'm better on the floor
Savior, I defy myself
Will I become something more
Brilliant... simple brilliant
www.myspace.com/brennanstrawn
I'm better on the floor
Savior, I defy myself
Will I become something more
Brilliant... simple brilliant
www.myspace.com/brennanstrawn
Monday, May 12, 2008
If you knew I was dying, would it change you
Cause when I fly solo, I fly so high
Cause when I fly solo, I fly so high
Cause when I fly solo, I fly so high
Cause when I fly solo, I fly so high
DONT TOUCH ME NOW! DONT TOUCH ME NOW! YOU CANT TOUCH ME NOW!
Some nights I lie, alone on my back at night, adding up the hours till my demise, I count myself to sleep...
My sister finds, a body closed up like the blinds, I tell her, I promise its fine, she cries herself to sleep...
A man in black ties, arrive at the house in surprise, to find a little girl by your side, the wood box where your sleepin...
I still see you inside this God awful house, you move awfully quiet now
I still feel you everywhere, you told me this has always been worth living
whats really worth livin anymore
Please take care of yourself.
Cause when I fly solo, I fly so high
Cause when I fly solo, I fly so high
Cause when I fly solo, I fly so high
DONT TOUCH ME NOW! DONT TOUCH ME NOW! YOU CANT TOUCH ME NOW!
Some nights I lie, alone on my back at night, adding up the hours till my demise, I count myself to sleep...
My sister finds, a body closed up like the blinds, I tell her, I promise its fine, she cries herself to sleep...
A man in black ties, arrive at the house in surprise, to find a little girl by your side, the wood box where your sleepin...
I still see you inside this God awful house, you move awfully quiet now
I still feel you everywhere, you told me this has always been worth living
whats really worth livin anymore
Please take care of yourself.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
A life packed full of mindless joy
sing again, sing again, with quiet eyes
tell me a secret...
Its at times like these that we really open, you are asked to be honest, as if you have not been honest up to this point. you can look me in the eyes, and when i tell you that very secret, that one that I hold so close, that one thing that less then a handfull of people know, you can look me in the eyes, and honestly smile and say
"Im glad you didnt"
what do I need? I need to be everything to someone else
I need to be everything to my friends
I need to seek there hapiness first
I need to push away every selfish desire, every wicked thought
I need to give in
fall
keep falling
Commit to you Lord, the one thing I have been waiting for
All my songs, all my stories, have come from you, and they are about you, about your love, about your grace.
I am an example of the goodness that you can bring out of filth.
I took this from a the coment section of worship.blogspot.com
"Being a worship leader isn't meant to be a hobby or a way of fulfilling my musical aspirations. It's an opportunity to proclaim that I'm a great sinner who's been redeemed by a great Savior and to invite others to celebrate that reality."
for so long I have said "Ill just play at church, and I will be happy, playing once a week, I dont need a band" I could never have been more wrong, I desire to play music so much, to feel that emotional highs and lows... but when it comes to worship... could I have been any more selfish? who do I think I am? do I really hold my self at such a high esteem that I tell God that I will serve one day a week, in an area that I choose, and be fullfilled by that?
are you serious Jon?
who am I?
I am nothing without my creator.
Bob Kauflin said "If you don't feel adequate for the task, you're in the perfect place for God to use you."
right now, I am perfect for whatever GOD wants me to do, not what I want to do
show me the way.
tell me a secret...
Its at times like these that we really open, you are asked to be honest, as if you have not been honest up to this point. you can look me in the eyes, and when i tell you that very secret, that one that I hold so close, that one thing that less then a handfull of people know, you can look me in the eyes, and honestly smile and say
"Im glad you didnt"
what do I need? I need to be everything to someone else
I need to be everything to my friends
I need to seek there hapiness first
I need to push away every selfish desire, every wicked thought
I need to give in
fall
keep falling
Commit to you Lord, the one thing I have been waiting for
All my songs, all my stories, have come from you, and they are about you, about your love, about your grace.
I am an example of the goodness that you can bring out of filth.
I took this from a the coment section of worship.blogspot.com
"Being a worship leader isn't meant to be a hobby or a way of fulfilling my musical aspirations. It's an opportunity to proclaim that I'm a great sinner who's been redeemed by a great Savior and to invite others to celebrate that reality."
for so long I have said "Ill just play at church, and I will be happy, playing once a week, I dont need a band" I could never have been more wrong, I desire to play music so much, to feel that emotional highs and lows... but when it comes to worship... could I have been any more selfish? who do I think I am? do I really hold my self at such a high esteem that I tell God that I will serve one day a week, in an area that I choose, and be fullfilled by that?
are you serious Jon?
who am I?
I am nothing without my creator.
Bob Kauflin said "If you don't feel adequate for the task, you're in the perfect place for God to use you."
right now, I am perfect for whatever GOD wants me to do, not what I want to do
show me the way.
Friday, April 18, 2008
I love the rain most
Seattle is wonderful and sad, I am sitting on my porch drinking a wonderful latte from the Little coffee shop down the street (it has a little leaf pattern in the foam) listening to Xavier Rudd, Joe Purdy and old Ryan Adams, not really looking forward to walking into the office in 8 minuets, but really, that's what makes me appreciate these special moments even more.
I am a proud Father of a little boy, a faithful follower of Jesus Christ, continuous worshiper and a happy spirit. But there is something deeply troubled in me at the same time, I feel something on the horizon, its nothing bad, in fact, its probably the most glorious thing ever, but still I am more then a little frightened because change usually hurts, like when your a child, and you go into kindergarten for the first time, its not a bad thing, and its not going to hurt you, but its still some what painful, and somewhat tragic, all your freedom that you held so closely, all your toys, all your smiles, your mother being right behind you...
you don't like when she walks away, after the door closed, everyone cried that day, it must have been terrible and tragic for the teacher, because every kid hated her, because they saw her as the reason they lost everything, that's a change,and its painful, we have such a limited scope of reality at that age, as soon as our first year is over, and summer comes, we feel the exact opposite, we miss our sweet little teacher, and her warm smile, her sweaters and her stockings, but its another change, and its tragic and beautiful.
this is me, tragic and beautiful, waiting for my first day of kindergarten.
I am a proud Father of a little boy, a faithful follower of Jesus Christ, continuous worshiper and a happy spirit. But there is something deeply troubled in me at the same time, I feel something on the horizon, its nothing bad, in fact, its probably the most glorious thing ever, but still I am more then a little frightened because change usually hurts, like when your a child, and you go into kindergarten for the first time, its not a bad thing, and its not going to hurt you, but its still some what painful, and somewhat tragic, all your freedom that you held so closely, all your toys, all your smiles, your mother being right behind you...
you don't like when she walks away, after the door closed, everyone cried that day, it must have been terrible and tragic for the teacher, because every kid hated her, because they saw her as the reason they lost everything, that's a change,and its painful, we have such a limited scope of reality at that age, as soon as our first year is over, and summer comes, we feel the exact opposite, we miss our sweet little teacher, and her warm smile, her sweaters and her stockings, but its another change, and its tragic and beautiful.
this is me, tragic and beautiful, waiting for my first day of kindergarten.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Hotel Cafe tour 2008
Last night was a juggernaut of acoustic guitars, pianos, soft vocals and dance routine's?
Yup, Last night was the Seattle stop of the Hotel Cafe Tour staring
Ingrid Michealson
Cary Brothers
William Fitzsimmons
Mieko
Jesca Hoop (pronounced "hope" (apparently)
and Jim Bianco
I was most excited about Ingrid and William, they have been on constant repeat for the last 6 months, I just cant get over Ingrids sass and Williams Hushed vocals and honest lyrics. At on point Mr. Fitzsimmons did a cover off of the 16 candles sound track and had everyone on the tour up on stage dancing, it was a magical moment and Mieko and Jim Bianco "vogued" and Ingrid and her back up songstress Allie Moss tangoed (we also had a few Cameo visits from some other folk artists, Matt Kearney and Pwrfl POWER) William blew my mind, simple, understated, blazing honest songs about his parents divorce and other such losses. I had an opportunity to speak with him after the show about his music and where he is going, he was mostly vague but I can understand, he is a pretty quiet guy to begin with. He DID state however that he was working with a producer on his next album and hopes to have a little bit more of a "rounded" sound, adding some full band elements, but he ALSO promised he did not want to lose that "vibe" that he has crafted so sweetly over the past three years.
I don't "Gush" or get "star struck" but standing outside Nuemos in the freezing Seattle weather talking with someone whom I look up to greatly was beyond words, I wanted to invite him to the Cha Cha and share a pitcher of $4 Rainer but my companion for the night was eyeing me to get going... She probably would have gone along with it, I am kicking my self right now, I just want to pick his brain and see things from his talented eyes.
Mieko blew me away, so small, so coy... he voice was low and filled with experience well beyond her years, she had a trumpet player who SCREAMED at blowing that horn and an upright bass player, I downloaded her CD first thing this morning from iTunes.
As usual Ingrid was fantastic, she really knows how to sing, simply stated, she covered radioheads "creep" on a Ukulele... it was perfect..
Cary Brothers kind of ticked me off, I was not impressed with him and Jim Bianco, also, while WILDLY entertaining, was very disappointing/inappropriate.
anyways, I went home and worked on music till 4 this morning, now I am very tired, and the coffee in my office is weak...
help?
Yup, Last night was the Seattle stop of the Hotel Cafe Tour staring
Ingrid Michealson
Cary Brothers
William Fitzsimmons
Mieko
Jesca Hoop (pronounced "hope" (apparently)
and Jim Bianco
I was most excited about Ingrid and William, they have been on constant repeat for the last 6 months, I just cant get over Ingrids sass and Williams Hushed vocals and honest lyrics. At on point Mr. Fitzsimmons did a cover off of the 16 candles sound track and had everyone on the tour up on stage dancing, it was a magical moment and Mieko and Jim Bianco "vogued" and Ingrid and her back up songstress Allie Moss tangoed (we also had a few Cameo visits from some other folk artists, Matt Kearney and Pwrfl POWER) William blew my mind, simple, understated, blazing honest songs about his parents divorce and other such losses. I had an opportunity to speak with him after the show about his music and where he is going, he was mostly vague but I can understand, he is a pretty quiet guy to begin with. He DID state however that he was working with a producer on his next album and hopes to have a little bit more of a "rounded" sound, adding some full band elements, but he ALSO promised he did not want to lose that "vibe" that he has crafted so sweetly over the past three years.
I don't "Gush" or get "star struck" but standing outside Nuemos in the freezing Seattle weather talking with someone whom I look up to greatly was beyond words, I wanted to invite him to the Cha Cha and share a pitcher of $4 Rainer but my companion for the night was eyeing me to get going... She probably would have gone along with it, I am kicking my self right now, I just want to pick his brain and see things from his talented eyes.
Mieko blew me away, so small, so coy... he voice was low and filled with experience well beyond her years, she had a trumpet player who SCREAMED at blowing that horn and an upright bass player, I downloaded her CD first thing this morning from iTunes.
As usual Ingrid was fantastic, she really knows how to sing, simply stated, she covered radioheads "creep" on a Ukulele... it was perfect..
Cary Brothers kind of ticked me off, I was not impressed with him and Jim Bianco, also, while WILDLY entertaining, was very disappointing/inappropriate.
anyways, I went home and worked on music till 4 this morning, now I am very tired, and the coffee in my office is weak...
help?
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
blocked
i just dont have anything to say, to write
i want to tell you something, a deep secret, somehing that really makes me happy
you know its you, it always has been
i just dont have anything to say
i want to tell you something, a deep secret, somehing that really makes me happy
you know its you, it always has been
i just dont have anything to say
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Unceasing
this cycle is coming to an end, I have people in my life now who care, who dont disapear for no reason, I know that my savior is here, and I am always searching for a closer place with him, I have been reading this book called "unceasing worship" it explains worship in a way that I have never thought about before, continual outpouring AND continual indwelling....
For so long I have felt "Far from God" but the truth is... he has always been IN me... always been rght WITH me, how many times do we hear the line "he is always walking beside you" well... thats not true... heis CLOSER... he is always... INSIDE me.. creepy... I know... But really, when you think about it, the thoughth that He is always within you, no matter what you do he is always there, and there is nothing we can do to chase him away, we cn hurl insult after insult in th face of his creations and he will continue to dwell within us. I find that inredably invigorating, also, very very convicting. When I am at my worst, when I am doing the things that no one knows about... he is right there... chillin in my heart... shaking his head saying "you were made for so much more then ths Jon"
I have recently heard the calling towards worship that was so prevelant in my life over certain times of my life, I am created to worship, created to give praise to my creator. I have always felt like this is a "musical" expression... but as of late i am learning that it is more a "life style" of worship... this life style started... and will continue... im not stoppin for anything.
For so long I have felt "Far from God" but the truth is... he has always been IN me... always been rght WITH me, how many times do we hear the line "he is always walking beside you" well... thats not true... heis CLOSER... he is always... INSIDE me.. creepy... I know... But really, when you think about it, the thoughth that He is always within you, no matter what you do he is always there, and there is nothing we can do to chase him away, we cn hurl insult after insult in th face of his creations and he will continue to dwell within us. I find that inredably invigorating, also, very very convicting. When I am at my worst, when I am doing the things that no one knows about... he is right there... chillin in my heart... shaking his head saying "you were made for so much more then ths Jon"
I have recently heard the calling towards worship that was so prevelant in my life over certain times of my life, I am created to worship, created to give praise to my creator. I have always felt like this is a "musical" expression... but as of late i am learning that it is more a "life style" of worship... this life style started... and will continue... im not stoppin for anything.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
This plane is for leaving
I had spent the entire day in the airplane, and had a Compostion notebook that I had been scribbling in throughout the entire flight. I had a grilfriend at the time, we used to write notes back and forth in this notebook, the entire trip so far was filled with smiley faces and stick figures, poems and deep conversations.
I had just finished a long story about some childhood turmoil when they announced that we were going to be landing soon, I decided it was a good idea to make one more run to the restroom before we landed, it was my first time in Tokyo and I was really excited to explore, I wanted to be ready when I got off the plane! I slipped the notebook into the pocket of the seat in front of me for safe keeping... and there it stayed... I got off that plane and forgot all about the notebook, that I had been pinning over for months, that I had filled with my deepest secrets, my darkest thoughts, my fears and every random thought from the previous two months.
The next morning I woke up in the hotel, looked out over a busy Tokyo street and felt an urge to write a lyric... I went to my bag to get the notebook, that had been faithfully by my side where ever I had gone in the previous two months, only to find that it was gone... I remembered exactly where I left it... I called the airline... nothing... I never saw that notebook again. Sometimes I picture some young or old, guy or girl, getting on the plane in Tokyo, ready for a long flight, finding the notebook, reading its contents and feeling conected with Theresa and I, that person has my heart... in compostion form.
Its alot like what I do now, write a song, play for hundreds of people, no one really knowing me, or my story, but still getting a glimpse into my world, into my heart, people leave a coffee house or a concert venue with a little piece of me, and I have never met that person... I have no idea who they are, where they come from, or what they are taking from me, but I know they heard me, I know they found something of worth in what I was saying... or singing...
Someone "wise" once told me to gaurd myself, be carefull who you let in, be carefull who your share with, because there is only so much you can give, and before too long it will be all gone, and there will be nothing left to give. I could not disagree more... I think we are boundless... infinate in nature... we never run dry... we are filled everyday but everything... if we let it...
I left Tokyo with a small hole inside of me... but maybe... just maybe that small hole that was taken out of my heart... plugged a much needed hole in someone elses... thats all I can ask for... its my heart, in compostion form... simple magic
I had just finished a long story about some childhood turmoil when they announced that we were going to be landing soon, I decided it was a good idea to make one more run to the restroom before we landed, it was my first time in Tokyo and I was really excited to explore, I wanted to be ready when I got off the plane! I slipped the notebook into the pocket of the seat in front of me for safe keeping... and there it stayed... I got off that plane and forgot all about the notebook, that I had been pinning over for months, that I had filled with my deepest secrets, my darkest thoughts, my fears and every random thought from the previous two months.
The next morning I woke up in the hotel, looked out over a busy Tokyo street and felt an urge to write a lyric... I went to my bag to get the notebook, that had been faithfully by my side where ever I had gone in the previous two months, only to find that it was gone... I remembered exactly where I left it... I called the airline... nothing... I never saw that notebook again. Sometimes I picture some young or old, guy or girl, getting on the plane in Tokyo, ready for a long flight, finding the notebook, reading its contents and feeling conected with Theresa and I, that person has my heart... in compostion form.
Its alot like what I do now, write a song, play for hundreds of people, no one really knowing me, or my story, but still getting a glimpse into my world, into my heart, people leave a coffee house or a concert venue with a little piece of me, and I have never met that person... I have no idea who they are, where they come from, or what they are taking from me, but I know they heard me, I know they found something of worth in what I was saying... or singing...
Someone "wise" once told me to gaurd myself, be carefull who you let in, be carefull who your share with, because there is only so much you can give, and before too long it will be all gone, and there will be nothing left to give. I could not disagree more... I think we are boundless... infinate in nature... we never run dry... we are filled everyday but everything... if we let it...
I left Tokyo with a small hole inside of me... but maybe... just maybe that small hole that was taken out of my heart... plugged a much needed hole in someone elses... thats all I can ask for... its my heart, in compostion form... simple magic
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Born into brothels
Magic, I love magic (i dont mean the card game) a couple years ago we were driving through west virginia, going... some where else... and we went into this long long tunnel that went through one of the adriondacks (I belive) we were playing the game to see who could hold there breath the longest, I lost, miserably, but it was a good thing, because as we came out of that tunnel, what I saw took my breath away. We had been driving all night, and it was about 6:30 in the morning the sun was just coming over the hills, it was november so it was cold, we came out of the tunnel onto a tall tall bridge, must have been 60 feet high, at the bottom was this sleepy little town, next to this sleepy little river that was sending a massive amount of not so sleepy steam into the air... it was unlike anything I have ever seen, it was magic.
Sometimes, when we were driving through another small town,in Arkasas or Ohio or some other place, I would think back to the small little town in the mountains, I would walk down the streets, look into the little store fronts, I would grab breakfast at the local diner where everyone knew your name. I wanted that life, a small town, a quiet get away, the same people everyday. At this point I had been on tour for 5 months, I was so sick and tired of the grind, of the road, of the faces that I didnt know, and never would know, I met so many wonderful people on that tour, but for the life of me I cant remember most of them, I think I was just to full.... to full of moments... of memories... of places... and I had not had time to digest everything that I had experienced... I wanted to sit in that diner... and think, over a big plate of scrambled eggs...
I leave for a three day weekend camp that I am playing music at, I am really excited, three nights of concerts at a sleepy little mountain lodge in oregon, they are supposed to have at least 7-10 FEET of snow, the only thing I have to do is play music for an hour each night... the rest of the time... nothing... I really cant wait to sit on the deck of the lodge with my guitar and take it all in... maybe I will finally have time to digest everything that has been going on around me... this is going to be a good weekend, its going to be magic!
Sometimes, when we were driving through another small town,in Arkasas or Ohio or some other place, I would think back to the small little town in the mountains, I would walk down the streets, look into the little store fronts, I would grab breakfast at the local diner where everyone knew your name. I wanted that life, a small town, a quiet get away, the same people everyday. At this point I had been on tour for 5 months, I was so sick and tired of the grind, of the road, of the faces that I didnt know, and never would know, I met so many wonderful people on that tour, but for the life of me I cant remember most of them, I think I was just to full.... to full of moments... of memories... of places... and I had not had time to digest everything that I had experienced... I wanted to sit in that diner... and think, over a big plate of scrambled eggs...
I leave for a three day weekend camp that I am playing music at, I am really excited, three nights of concerts at a sleepy little mountain lodge in oregon, they are supposed to have at least 7-10 FEET of snow, the only thing I have to do is play music for an hour each night... the rest of the time... nothing... I really cant wait to sit on the deck of the lodge with my guitar and take it all in... maybe I will finally have time to digest everything that has been going on around me... this is going to be a good weekend, its going to be magic!
Friday, February 1, 2008
the long and winding road...
I started playing music because I wanted a girl to notice me, I wrote her a song, I sang it to her in the airport in Dallas, Texas, I got the response I desired, I can remember the exact moments when I was writing those words, sitting on a curb in Houston, Texas, fumbling with the three chords that i knew, that day during the afternoon before sound check, we walked down a small rural street to get some ice cream and finally do some laundry... I was doing sound on a small tour with an acoustic outfit from Tyler, Texas, Theresa was her name, she went home to Missouri to vist her parents, when she came off the plane, down the tunnel, I was waiting for her with a guitar in hand, I sang to her the song I wrote, I had never felt so alive...
Six months later we were in Birmingham Alabama, we played at Auburn University, I was asked to play a few of my songs to open, three songs never felt so terrifying, I made it through, and was better for it.
As years passed I found myself in Ashville N.C. Chicago, Philly, Omaha, Atlanta, St. louise, Nashville, Denver... the List goes on and on,I can still see the leaves changing while we wound through the Adriondacks in Tennessee, and the Mist risng up for one of the tiny rivers during a foggy West Virginia monring, the cities, towns, people and places welcomed me and my music, moments that will forever be etched in my memories, that road is always there, that long and ever present road, and I will always travel it, I long to capture that feeling in my music, I want to transport the listener to a familier place, where they have been, or want to go... so they can connect... for a moment... with someone else in this vast world. Music is the universal language of love, pain, loss, and truth, I hope I lead you to all of those things.
Six months later we were in Birmingham Alabama, we played at Auburn University, I was asked to play a few of my songs to open, three songs never felt so terrifying, I made it through, and was better for it.
As years passed I found myself in Ashville N.C. Chicago, Philly, Omaha, Atlanta, St. louise, Nashville, Denver... the List goes on and on,I can still see the leaves changing while we wound through the Adriondacks in Tennessee, and the Mist risng up for one of the tiny rivers during a foggy West Virginia monring, the cities, towns, people and places welcomed me and my music, moments that will forever be etched in my memories, that road is always there, that long and ever present road, and I will always travel it, I long to capture that feeling in my music, I want to transport the listener to a familier place, where they have been, or want to go... so they can connect... for a moment... with someone else in this vast world. Music is the universal language of love, pain, loss, and truth, I hope I lead you to all of those things.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
The worst part of the day...
When I am finished with my latte
then my Cinnamon roll....
sad day
I had a dream where i was interviewing the lead singer of Creed (Scott Stapp) about his personal hair style... awkward
whats this life for...
then my Cinnamon roll....
sad day
I had a dream where i was interviewing the lead singer of Creed (Scott Stapp) about his personal hair style... awkward
whats this life for...
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
i still....
i still get excited when we talk, when i get an E mail from you, when you pick up the phone...
its hopeless, truely hopeless
is this my lot in life? always wanting? always hurting? never getting?
i still get excited when I get an e mail from you...
its hopeless
its hopeless, truely hopeless
is this my lot in life? always wanting? always hurting? never getting?
i still get excited when I get an e mail from you...
its hopeless
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
P.S.
I have had 800% of my daily Vitamin C so far!!
FLU!!!GO AWAY!!! I WILL KILL YOU, KILLLLLLL!!!!!!
FLU!!!GO AWAY!!! I WILL KILL YOU, KILLLLLLL!!!!!!
I couldnt sleep last night
I woke up at 3 a.m. this morning, no rhyme, no reason, just awoke
I had a lot of anxiety in my heart, I could not get my head clear, I was wide awake and didn't get back to sleep till six...
6:15 my alarm went off, time to get up, time to get going
"just ten more minuets please"
but those ten minuets would turn into 20, then 30, then I would be late, I hate being late.
It snowed last night, which made the bike ride a little precarious this morning, I live on top of a "gnarly hill" as my friend Isac puts it, think Capitol hill with stop lights in the middle of it... wait... capitol hill DOES have stop lights in the middle of it... well that works too.
People over here (the east side) don't really know what to do with me when I am on the road, they are afraid to pass me even if I am in the bike lane, I get many many honks and fingers, its not my fault you don't know how to drive...
At the bottom of the hill there is a small local coffee shop called "victors" I really love this coffee shop, ad all of the people that work there, one person in particular stands out...
Tara, she is short, with dark hair and big, wonderful, caring eyes, a lovely smile, even if she is abnormally tired, Over the last three years I have had the benefit of meeting her at church, with friends, out on the town, and in many many "normal" situations, she always welcomes me with a huge hug and a smile, she is one of my favorite people right now (mainly because she makes my coffee in the morning)
That being said, I asked her a couple weeks ago about her dating life (or lack there of) she had a very good, very brilliant answer, She said she was dating Jesus, now I am not writing this to say I wanted to ask her out, because she is a good, good friend of mine and that is all that I see her as, but it gave me some ideas...
Am I placing my desire to date, to meet someone, to get married above my relationship with Christ? I think I am... I think I need to sit the next couple of rounds out... I need to train my heart if I am going to win the championship, I need to be ready... My dad always said, walk towards Jesus, keep your eyes on him, the closer you get, the better for you, then when you look to your left or right, see who is walking in the same direction as you, who is growing closer to God WITH you, take her hand, and walk together. I know this is an over used metaphor, but it is STILL so true, My eyes need to be on the creator, not the creation, God will direct me in the way that he wants me to go, I have faith in that.... I have peace in that...
I'm also not drinking any more...
yeah... I know....
I had a lot of anxiety in my heart, I could not get my head clear, I was wide awake and didn't get back to sleep till six...
6:15 my alarm went off, time to get up, time to get going
"just ten more minuets please"
but those ten minuets would turn into 20, then 30, then I would be late, I hate being late.
It snowed last night, which made the bike ride a little precarious this morning, I live on top of a "gnarly hill" as my friend Isac puts it, think Capitol hill with stop lights in the middle of it... wait... capitol hill DOES have stop lights in the middle of it... well that works too.
People over here (the east side) don't really know what to do with me when I am on the road, they are afraid to pass me even if I am in the bike lane, I get many many honks and fingers, its not my fault you don't know how to drive...
At the bottom of the hill there is a small local coffee shop called "victors" I really love this coffee shop, ad all of the people that work there, one person in particular stands out...
Tara, she is short, with dark hair and big, wonderful, caring eyes, a lovely smile, even if she is abnormally tired, Over the last three years I have had the benefit of meeting her at church, with friends, out on the town, and in many many "normal" situations, she always welcomes me with a huge hug and a smile, she is one of my favorite people right now (mainly because she makes my coffee in the morning)
That being said, I asked her a couple weeks ago about her dating life (or lack there of) she had a very good, very brilliant answer, She said she was dating Jesus, now I am not writing this to say I wanted to ask her out, because she is a good, good friend of mine and that is all that I see her as, but it gave me some ideas...
Am I placing my desire to date, to meet someone, to get married above my relationship with Christ? I think I am... I think I need to sit the next couple of rounds out... I need to train my heart if I am going to win the championship, I need to be ready... My dad always said, walk towards Jesus, keep your eyes on him, the closer you get, the better for you, then when you look to your left or right, see who is walking in the same direction as you, who is growing closer to God WITH you, take her hand, and walk together. I know this is an over used metaphor, but it is STILL so true, My eyes need to be on the creator, not the creation, God will direct me in the way that he wants me to go, I have faith in that.... I have peace in that...
I'm also not drinking any more...
yeah... I know....
Monday, January 14, 2008
Expectations
Do you remember your senior year in high school? the last few days of class, barely making it through that last day, hearing that bell ring and knowing that you Will never be a High School student again?
what came next...
summer....
then...
More school? How many of you had an idea of what was going to happen after high school, can anyone really say that they knew at 18 where they would be at 22? I would tend to say no, I don't think anyone really knew who they were going to be at 22. If on the small chance, you did, and you didn't like what you saw in your future, would you change it?
Summers abroad, Alcoholic weekends, Bible studies, AA meetings, skipping class, pregnant by your junior year?
so far from home, so far from your bubble, so many new exciting things to try, to see, to touch, to be touched... all these things are real, people get pregnant, people over dose, people drop out, people get mugged... but... people fall in love, people follow through, people get married, people get Jobs and move to bigger better places!
people follow God's will
The expectations that we had on our 18Th birthday will never come true, you will meet a wonderful spouse, you will make great friends, you will have stories upon stories upon stories... but they will be nothing like the stories that filled your head when you walked down that aisle on the day of graduation, in all honesty, they will be better because they will be real!
With that being said, what makes you think that you can place expectations upon other things, things that are just as important, as ground breaking. I know I have fallen victim to this issue, I place expectations on things that need to be cultivated before they are harvested, people like me, who are hurt, who are broken, and just need someone to look them in the eyes and say...
I am here
not to receive anything, not to gain anything in the end, but simply to love, and let love grow, nurture the pure Joy of learning, and breaking, and rebuilding of trust. I think I need to just sit.... and listen.... and wait....
because something is coming, something big, and fun, and great, and challenging, and hard all at the same time, and when it DOES come, and it will, I will be ready, waiting, with no expectations of what I want it to look like, because it will just be... just be... be what it is supposed to be, I trust my heavenly father with my soul AND my heart... he knows what I need, he knows what I want, he will answer the call... if this is it... he will bring it back.
I keep checking my phone to make sure it still works, I keep chcking my E mail...
You know I could write song about you
what came next...
summer....
then...
More school? How many of you had an idea of what was going to happen after high school, can anyone really say that they knew at 18 where they would be at 22? I would tend to say no, I don't think anyone really knew who they were going to be at 22. If on the small chance, you did, and you didn't like what you saw in your future, would you change it?
Summers abroad, Alcoholic weekends, Bible studies, AA meetings, skipping class, pregnant by your junior year?
so far from home, so far from your bubble, so many new exciting things to try, to see, to touch, to be touched... all these things are real, people get pregnant, people over dose, people drop out, people get mugged... but... people fall in love, people follow through, people get married, people get Jobs and move to bigger better places!
people follow God's will
The expectations that we had on our 18Th birthday will never come true, you will meet a wonderful spouse, you will make great friends, you will have stories upon stories upon stories... but they will be nothing like the stories that filled your head when you walked down that aisle on the day of graduation, in all honesty, they will be better because they will be real!
With that being said, what makes you think that you can place expectations upon other things, things that are just as important, as ground breaking. I know I have fallen victim to this issue, I place expectations on things that need to be cultivated before they are harvested, people like me, who are hurt, who are broken, and just need someone to look them in the eyes and say...
I am here
not to receive anything, not to gain anything in the end, but simply to love, and let love grow, nurture the pure Joy of learning, and breaking, and rebuilding of trust. I think I need to just sit.... and listen.... and wait....
because something is coming, something big, and fun, and great, and challenging, and hard all at the same time, and when it DOES come, and it will, I will be ready, waiting, with no expectations of what I want it to look like, because it will just be... just be... be what it is supposed to be, I trust my heavenly father with my soul AND my heart... he knows what I need, he knows what I want, he will answer the call... if this is it... he will bring it back.
I keep checking my phone to make sure it still works, I keep chcking my E mail...
You know I could write song about you
Friday, January 4, 2008
When I was 15 years old
I threw away my retainer on accident, It was on my lunch tray while I was enjoying Pizza day at school, I cant tell you how freeing it was, not to feel that smooth plastic support on the roof of my mouth, oh how care free I was, I smiled and smiled knowing that I didnt have to worry about that thin piece of metal giving me away to all the upper classmen, that my teeth were not perfect, unlike there's. Needless to say as soon as I got home my mother asked where it was, I was obligated to tell her, she was not very happy, She took me to the dentist the next day and I got a replacemnt one ordered, it took a week, and for that week I tasted freedom like I had never had, a freedom that I wouldnt taste again untill well past my senior year of high school...
How many times to we feel like we are tied to something, this something is supposed to help us, be the best thing for us, healthy, right... but when you step away from that thing, what ever it maybe (religion in my case)you feel free... but you dont really understand the damage that you are causing, much like the week without my retainer, when I put it back in a week later it was tight, uncomfartable and painfull... caused more harm then good... sure it felt good to walk away from it for a while, but in the end it cause more harm then good...
this is my life right now, I walked away from my true love, my true calling, my true gift, and now that I am coming back, it is uncomfortable, painfull, I have caused more harm then good...
its intersting how things come full circle
How many times to we feel like we are tied to something, this something is supposed to help us, be the best thing for us, healthy, right... but when you step away from that thing, what ever it maybe (religion in my case)you feel free... but you dont really understand the damage that you are causing, much like the week without my retainer, when I put it back in a week later it was tight, uncomfartable and painfull... caused more harm then good... sure it felt good to walk away from it for a while, but in the end it cause more harm then good...
this is my life right now, I walked away from my true love, my true calling, my true gift, and now that I am coming back, it is uncomfortable, painfull, I have caused more harm then good...
its intersting how things come full circle
Thursday, January 3, 2008
If you think that I could be forgiven - I wish you would
The smell of hospitals in winter,
and the feeling that its all a lot of oysters, but no pearls.
All at once you look across a crowded room
to see the way that light attaches to a girl.
Will you ever trust me again?
will you ever get over the past, will you ever see me for who I am today?
Instead of who I was two years ago?
I have changed, have I showed you that?
will you be able to see that?
Do I want you to see that?
How many times does a situation throw you back to years before, when it was okay, But its not okay anymore, it shouldnt be... she told me I should take you home... I never would... secretly I wanted to leave two hours before.... alone... why didnt I?
Have I really changed that much? I like to think I have, because who I was, was so devistatingly distructive, I dont want to be that person anymore, now I have goals, now I have plans, now I need to ignore the text messages... the scorn... the places we run into each other...
thats it! thats the key! no... not avoidence, practical life applications! it will work, man, that sucks, but i guess that will give me more time to focus on my music! But i would still like to know you forgive me, that you will move on, and be okay, and mearly call it a mistake.
I was your mistake, she was mine
I broke a finger nail
and the feeling that its all a lot of oysters, but no pearls.
All at once you look across a crowded room
to see the way that light attaches to a girl.
Will you ever trust me again?
will you ever get over the past, will you ever see me for who I am today?
Instead of who I was two years ago?
I have changed, have I showed you that?
will you be able to see that?
Do I want you to see that?
How many times does a situation throw you back to years before, when it was okay, But its not okay anymore, it shouldnt be... she told me I should take you home... I never would... secretly I wanted to leave two hours before.... alone... why didnt I?
Have I really changed that much? I like to think I have, because who I was, was so devistatingly distructive, I dont want to be that person anymore, now I have goals, now I have plans, now I need to ignore the text messages... the scorn... the places we run into each other...
thats it! thats the key! no... not avoidence, practical life applications! it will work, man, that sucks, but i guess that will give me more time to focus on my music! But i would still like to know you forgive me, that you will move on, and be okay, and mearly call it a mistake.
I was your mistake, she was mine
I broke a finger nail
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Greece in 2009
Mars Hill is going to greece in 2009
I am going with
I only need $3500!
I need a plan of attack!
I am going with
I only need $3500!
I need a plan of attack!
My dreams are not the issue here...
For thee, the hammer holds, The task before me, seems unclear, but it my maker holds.
"The fact that it's 2008 won't really make much difference other than help me categorize and condense moments in my life when needed for recall in the future."
My dear, dear friend Laila said that, its funny, I just had a conversation about this last night with a new friend...
This life is so fleeting, we spend so much time worrying about tomorrow, when tomorrow may never come, BUT if we live for today, with no regrets, with no HOPE for tomorrow, then we miss on the truest blessing of all.... seeing our dreams... seeing our calling revealed.
I love my life, My friends, those who are new to my circle, those who are old, Ashlea, Lara, Laila, Sarah M. Jared, Preston... and those who I have just recently met...
This new years was a great view of whats to come... Music... friends... Girlfriend?? but all in all, the Lord has blessed me with so many great things that I cant help but praise him for it all... my job.... my house.... my car... my joy... but with that joy come pain... I thank the Lord for my son, I thank the Lord for Sarah Frank who takes care of my precious piece of Joy everyday... Its a thankless job and she does it so well, she is such an amazing mother and person, I know we have our differences, but at the end of the day I am so thankful that I met her, with out her, I would never have been able to hold my son... I never would have had the Joy of being in the room when he came out... I never would have LOST it in uncontrollable tears as I held him for the first time.. been there for his first steps.... first words... first "daddy"
To this day whenever there is a movie that involves young families... single parents... unplanned pregnancy's or the like... I get so emotional... its funny... I am such a strong guy... but that little guy... that precious little soul... is so close to my heart that the slightest thing brings me to my knees and reminds me of how much I love him, I live for him... that's why I am here... to love... serve... and raise him...
My love.... My son.... with out him I am nothing
he turned her head as if to hide
there was just no where to go
cause standing tall on every side
the mighty fear of letting go
he said my God I'm so ashamed
thirty years of tragedy
I still believe that She could change
but she pulled me down like gravity
he broke my will
But deeper still, deeper still
he told me morning was the time
when the sun burned bright and clean
and love grew fragile on the vine
all wrapped up in golden green
cause after all we know we are
and after all the same things
before the sun or rain could fall
it burned her up and turned her mean
its fire that kills me
its deeper still
tonight I rose up with the moon
looking down from high above
saw a world carved and confused
to valleys deep in need of love
and falling all thick with grace
heavens cloud of mystery
its filling every empty space
down to the depth of human need
this love that heals
is deeper still
"The fact that it's 2008 won't really make much difference other than help me categorize and condense moments in my life when needed for recall in the future."
My dear, dear friend Laila said that, its funny, I just had a conversation about this last night with a new friend...
This life is so fleeting, we spend so much time worrying about tomorrow, when tomorrow may never come, BUT if we live for today, with no regrets, with no HOPE for tomorrow, then we miss on the truest blessing of all.... seeing our dreams... seeing our calling revealed.
I love my life, My friends, those who are new to my circle, those who are old, Ashlea, Lara, Laila, Sarah M. Jared, Preston... and those who I have just recently met...
This new years was a great view of whats to come... Music... friends... Girlfriend?? but all in all, the Lord has blessed me with so many great things that I cant help but praise him for it all... my job.... my house.... my car... my joy... but with that joy come pain... I thank the Lord for my son, I thank the Lord for Sarah Frank who takes care of my precious piece of Joy everyday... Its a thankless job and she does it so well, she is such an amazing mother and person, I know we have our differences, but at the end of the day I am so thankful that I met her, with out her, I would never have been able to hold my son... I never would have had the Joy of being in the room when he came out... I never would have LOST it in uncontrollable tears as I held him for the first time.. been there for his first steps.... first words... first "daddy"
To this day whenever there is a movie that involves young families... single parents... unplanned pregnancy's or the like... I get so emotional... its funny... I am such a strong guy... but that little guy... that precious little soul... is so close to my heart that the slightest thing brings me to my knees and reminds me of how much I love him, I live for him... that's why I am here... to love... serve... and raise him...
My love.... My son.... with out him I am nothing
he turned her head as if to hide
there was just no where to go
cause standing tall on every side
the mighty fear of letting go
he said my God I'm so ashamed
thirty years of tragedy
I still believe that She could change
but she pulled me down like gravity
he broke my will
But deeper still, deeper still
he told me morning was the time
when the sun burned bright and clean
and love grew fragile on the vine
all wrapped up in golden green
cause after all we know we are
and after all the same things
before the sun or rain could fall
it burned her up and turned her mean
its fire that kills me
its deeper still
tonight I rose up with the moon
looking down from high above
saw a world carved and confused
to valleys deep in need of love
and falling all thick with grace
heavens cloud of mystery
its filling every empty space
down to the depth of human need
this love that heals
is deeper still
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