I couldnt sleep last night

I woke up at 3 a.m. this morning, no rhyme, no reason, just awoke
I had a lot of anxiety in my heart, I could not get my head clear, I was wide awake and didn't get back to sleep till six...

6:15 my alarm went off, time to get up, time to get going
"just ten more minuets please"
but those ten minuets would turn into 20, then 30, then I would be late, I hate being late.

It snowed last night, which made the bike ride a little precarious this morning, I live on top of a "gnarly hill" as my friend Isac puts it, think Capitol hill with stop lights in the middle of it... wait... capitol hill DOES have stop lights in the middle of it... well that works too.

People over here (the east side) don't really know what to do with me when I am on the road, they are afraid to pass me even if I am in the bike lane, I get many many honks and fingers, its not my fault you don't know how to drive...

At the bottom of the hill there is a small local coffee shop called "victors" I really love this coffee shop, ad all of the people that work there, one person in particular stands out...

Tara, she is short, with dark hair and big, wonderful, caring eyes, a lovely smile, even if she is abnormally tired, Over the last three years I have had the benefit of meeting her at church, with friends, out on the town, and in many many "normal" situations, she always welcomes me with a huge hug and a smile, she is one of my favorite people right now (mainly because she makes my coffee in the morning)

That being said, I asked her a couple weeks ago about her dating life (or lack there of) she had a very good, very brilliant answer, She said she was dating Jesus, now I am not writing this to say I wanted to ask her out, because she is a good, good friend of mine and that is all that I see her as, but it gave me some ideas...

Am I placing my desire to date, to meet someone, to get married above my relationship with Christ? I think I am... I think I need to sit the next couple of rounds out... I need to train my heart if I am going to win the championship, I need to be ready... My dad always said, walk towards Jesus, keep your eyes on him, the closer you get, the better for you, then when you look to your left or right, see who is walking in the same direction as you, who is growing closer to God WITH you, take her hand, and walk together. I know this is an over used metaphor, but it is STILL so true, My eyes need to be on the creator, not the creation, God will direct me in the way that he wants me to go, I have faith in that.... I have peace in that...

I'm also not drinking any more...

yeah... I know....